Losing Hope
by The Fuzz 15
Summary: Sakura's routine border patrol turns into something quite different. Written for SasuSaku Month 13


**I do not own ****_Naruto_**

**Prompt: Losing Hope**

**This prompt was inspired heavily by Demi Lovato's Shouldn't Come Back**

The day had started off like most any other day. Sakura woke up at six, drank a quick smoothie, started a load of laundry, trained for an hour, ate an actual breakfast, took a shower, did more laundry, and went to the hospital. At the hospital she mended a boys leg, performed two surgeries, three check ups, ate lunch, filed her paperwork, and was assigned to border patrol until seven.

It was approaching 4:30. It was a lovely day for border patrol, Sakura thought absently to herself. A cooling breeze swept through Sakura's hair. The few clouds in the sky were drifting slowly by, and the cicadas were chirping with the birds happily. Sakura had walked the length of ten miles she was supposed to be watching three times already.

It was quiet. It had been quiet for nearly nine months now. Sakura bent down to pick up a stone. She threw the stone into the air and caught as she meandered around her assigned area again. While trying to get past the monotony of her task, Sakura started making a list of things to do when she got off.

"_I need to do more laundry,_" she thought while absently tossing the stone up and down, "_eat dinner... Change the sheets off my bed, do the dishes, practice that new technique Tsunade showed me, and then I need to-_"

Sakura's train of thought was abruptly cut off when she heard the snap of a twig. She immediately threw the stone at the approaching person while simultaneously pulling out a kunai and warning flare for the village. Sakura turned to the approaching figure and saw Sasuke in front of her. The stone was in his fist - most likely caught before it broke his nose - and he had a careless expression on his face.

"_Sasuke,_" Sakura growled. He had obviously stepped on the twig on purpose to announce his presence but why? She clutched the kunai and warning flare a little tighter in her hand. This could go south very quickly.

Sasuke didn't grace her with any sort of greeting, instead he tossed the stone over his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Sakura asked. She tried to make it sound stronger than she felt right now. She hadn't been prepared for this today.

"If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't have stepped on that twig," Sasuke respond crossing his arms and leaning up against a nearby tree.

"_Why _are you _here_? Sakura asked again. Her voice was dripping with forced venom. Most shinobi would have fled.

Sasuke was not like most shinobi, though.

"I'm here to join Konoha again. After nine months, I've realized where my loyalties lie."

Everything inside Sakura seemed to be jumping with joy at that news. She should just run up to him and welcome him back with open arms. Finally, the prodigal son was returning!

But, a very small part refused to let her.

_No..._

Sakura had an internal war with herself before the words burst from her mouth uncertainly.

"No..." Sakura found herself saying.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this. It was like he found the idea of her not welcoming him back with open arms almost laughable, or did he just notice the uncertainty in her voice? "I don't think that's your decision, Sakura," Sasuke said. Did she detect a trace of a laugh in his voice?

"Yes, it is," Sakura muttered. "I'm on border patrol; I choose who can and can't enter the village gates."

What was she even saying? She should just let him back in right now! He knew she was only forcing herself to say all of this.

"But the decision of my staying in Konoha does not, has not, and will never rest with you," Sasuke responded easily. "Or did I not make that clear when I knocked you unconscious and abandoned you on a bench?"

It was like a slap to the face. Did her really hate her that much?

_Yes, he does... That's why you should give up on him..._

Sakura found the small voice had a point. With every chance meeting with Sasuke, Sakura was finding it harder and harder to see the boy she had fallen in love with. She almost believed he was gone forever.

"You're doing an awfully good job at convincing me to let you in," Sakura said sarcastically. Her decision to not let him back in the village became more resolved as their conversation progressed.

Sasuke simply shifted his weight to one leg in response. Was he really not going to take this - her - seriously?

"You left," Sakura said, though, even to her sounded more like a shaky whisper than a rebuke. "You left after the war and you didn't look back. After telling us you were coming home, you left!" Sakura's uncertainty was quickly being replaced with anger at the memory of what he had done to her and Naruto.

"I left to get stronger, you know that," Sasuke said.

"And who's to say you won't do the same thing again?" Sakura practically yelled. She could feel the angry tears burning her eyes and tried to push

them back. She wasn't going to cry; not in front of him.

Sasuke seemed unable to respond to this.

"You had made a commitment to Konoha before, what's going to keep you from breaking that commitment just like last time?"

"I'm not doing this, Sakura," Sasuke growled.

"Why? Because you know I'm right? You know there's absolutely no reason for us to let you back in?"

"What happened to second chances? Isn't Konoha all about handing out more chances?" She could tell he was getting angry now.

"We gave you a second chance, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth! Sometimes it has to end, Sasuke."

"Like I said before, Sakura, that isn't your decision," Sasuke glared at her from his spot on the tree.

"Fine, go ahead and walk back through the village gates!" Sakura shouted. "You'll be arrested, they'll give you a fair trial, and ask for people

vouch for you. Naruto may vouch for you, but I won't vouch for you, Kakashi won't, Ino won't, Kiba won't, no one will, because they all remember

that you broke my and Naruto's hearts. They remember that you knocked me unconscious and left me on a bench.

Sasuke looked down at his feet. He felt guilty. Good.

"Sakura, you know I won't apologize, because I don't regret anything I've done, but you of all people should know I mean it when I say-"

"Just stop, Sasuke!" Sakura found herself shouting.

"No, you listen to what I have to say! I'm coming back because I want to, not because I have something to gain for it-"

"Stop it! You know as well as I do that you're only going to let us down. Or we won't be able to keep you content and you'll leave again."

Sasuke didn't say anything; he must have secretly agreed.

"Maybe..." Sakura took a very deep shaky breath before continuing. Her resolution seemed to be failing. "Maybe you shouldn't come back, Sasuke..."

He seemed to be taken aback at her sudden change in mood. She had just been furious with him, and now she seemed completely uncertain with her decision.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly. Sakura blinked, and he was gone.

As soon as he was out of sight Sakura leaned up against the outer wall of the village and slid to the ground. She put a hand on her forehead to push away her bangs as the tears began to fall. Her breathing quickly turned into hyperventilating while the tears continued relentlessly. The kunai and the flare fell to the ground, forgotten as she curled into herself and wept.

The same question kept ringing in her ears. "Did I do the right thing?"

**I wrote this while grieving the loss of a very dear friend, so I apologize. It's not as good as I wanted it to be. It just didn't flow well or something.**


End file.
